The Door Stays Open

For the first time in 28 years, I am solely responsible for keeping myself alive. That’s right, folks! I’ve got my own place. All mine. Only mine. Mine mine mine! But with that great power comes great responsibility. I actually have to plan my grocery shopping before I get to the supermarket; I have to remember to get the washing out of the machine once it’s done; I have to do all the cooking; I have to do all the cleaning (which is probably the biggest one) and not only that…I have to take the rubbish out!

But, even with all those extra jobs and duties, I’ve found that within my little piece of real estate, I have phenomenal cosmic power! As I type this post, I am sipping from a glass of wine, which was resting on a Star Trek coaster, which is on top of an Elvis tray table. The rest of the Elvis tray tables are housed next to my Elvis guitar, right next to the coffee table that houses my Star Trek figurines and other Elvis memorabilia. And since it’s Christmas, the lights are twinkling on my Elvis-themed Blue Christmas Christmas tree. And that’s just the start of it!

You know that door thingy on the bathroom? It stays open! All the time! Putting make up on? Open! Having a shower? Open! Making an offering to the porcelain gods? Open!

Don’t feel like cooking tonight? That’s fine. Oreos and beer it is!

Want to play a song on a loop for hours at a time because you’re determined to learn the Thriller dance? No one there to chase you with a knife after the third repeat.

Washing up in the sink? Nah, I’ll do it tomorrow. Or even put the dishwasher on…without a full load!

You know those shows that you publicly trash but secretly love to watch? You know the ones – Toddlers and Tiaras, What Not To Wear, the 12 hour marathon of Storage Wars. There’s no one there to confirm these are watched in your house. And best of all, no one to take the remote. I can flick between three channels and no one complains.

Although it’s hard to blame someone else for taking the last cookie or missing a spot of dust, there is one major incentive for living alone and one which I heartily embrace.

NO PANTS!

You have the day off and don’t want to do anything but sit on the couch? You don’t need pants for that! Hard day at work and you want to kick back with a beer? No need for pants! Cooking dinner? No pants. Putting away your clean clothes? No pants. Housework? No pants.

So to all those people who are thinking of moving into their own place. Yes, there are down sides, but think of the freedom you get. Especially the freedom of not wearing pants!

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~ by Lulupop on Thursday, December 8, 2011.