Bah, Humbug
That’s right people, the dreaded Christmas cheer is here again. The mindlessness of Christmas trees and tinsel taking over every available shelf in the shops (even though it’s only NOVEMBER!). I thought I would help people buy the perfect gift for me, by supplying a few helpful suggestions of the dos and don’ts for Lucy’s present.
1. I DO NOT need or want any of the following: clothes, socks, makeup, perfume, stuffed toys and my little ponies.
2. I DO need anything to do with wrestling – clothing, CDs, action figures, DVDs, Shawn Michaels naked in my bed.
3. I WANT – the Xmas pack of Mills & Boon (available from Big W), the new Brooks & Dunn album, the DVD of An Affair to Remember (have been looking everywhere for it), the complete box set of Police Academy movies.
4. I do not need more alcohol. I have enough rum to supply a small country.
5. I do not need anything that requires batteries or inflation. I would like to be able to show my grandparents all my presents. (You know who you are.)
6. I like sparkly diamonds.
Now that I’ve helped out with the present side of the day, here’s some hints to avoid conflict during the fun-filled family/friends gathering.
1. You don’t need to point out that I am the only sibling not to have found someone to marry.
2. You do not need to ask when I am going to find someone to marry/have babies with. The answer will not make you happy.
3. You don’t need to point out the number of Rum Balls I have eaten.
4. You don’t need to point out all the food that is high in sugar that I shouldn’t eat. (also see hint 3)
5. You shouldn’t grimace whenever I start talking about the wrestling gear that I bought myself because I knew no one else would buy it for me. At least I pretend to be interested in fishing/motorbikes/your general health.
I hope this list of hints has been helpful to you. Don’t worry if you can’t think of anything that is on my wish list – I also accept cash.
haha nice one Lucy, I like your blog its very entertaining.