The Problems With Banking

This weeks post is devoted to the rubbish that is the UK banking system. I opened my first account with Lloyds TSB when I was in Odiham. Because I wasn’t a UK citizen I didn’t have a choice about which Lloyds TSB account I could open. I got stuck with the worst Lloyds TSB account you could possible imagine. I got what Lloyds TSB lovingly call the Cash Account. Most people would assume that the Cash Account means you can have access to your cash. Oh no! Not Lloyds TSB! Their Cash Account means that I have a card with my name and account number. I can access MY OWN MONEY at only Lloyds TSB cash points! Not even other atms that accept Lloyds TSB cards! Only Lloyds TSB cash points. That’s it.

I was also told that I would not be able to change anything about my Lloyds TSB account until the account was a year old. What no one told me was that not only did the Lloyds TSB account have to be a year old, there also had to be a steady cash flow into the account. That’s fine. For the first six months I had my monthly salary deposited into my LLoyds TSB account. After that, I got paid in cash. I still deposited my pay into my Lloyds TSB account every week, but because it was cash, it didn’t count!

I was also making monthly transfers back to Australia to cover my credit card payments. As well as organising my rent to be transferred monthly. Everytime I went in to make a transfer, they would ask me if I had Internet banking. Well, yes, I do have Internet banking. And with the type of account I have, I can…check my balance! Yes, that’s it. That is the only thing I can do with my Internet banking. I think they may have put a note on the system about my attitude, because after a few months, they stopped asking.

So after my Lloyds TSB account had been open for a year, I went into my Lloyds TSB branch to try and upgrade. No can do! Maybe I should try next month. Or the month after…or the month after. My Lloyds TSB account has now been open since March 2005, it’s now January 2007 and I have only now been able to upgrade to an account that doesn’t make me scream at the bank teller.

But wait, it gets better…

After I arranged the upgrade of my Lloyds TSB account, they decided to change my pin to go with my new card. The only problem is that my new card has not turned up yet. My crappy card that only works in Lloyds TSB cash points was blocked last weekend, because the pin was changed for the new card. I finally have a new pin that works, but I’m still waiting for my new card. And that’s the story of my Lloyds TSB account.

Now for the fun with Natwest…

After I got sick of Lloyds TSB screwing me around, I decided to find another bank that would let me have a useful account, so I went in and got an account with Natwest. The nice account lady went through all the details of the accounts and I told her which Natwest account I wanted to open. She filled in all the Natwest paperwork with me, and then told me that I qualified for a higher Natwest account and she’d open one of them for me. Despite me telling her that I didn’t want a better Natwest account, and that I was not going to pay fees for this ‘better’ account, she opened one for me. After 2 weeks, I went back to Natwest and tried to get my Natwest account downgraded. The stupid Natwest woman I spoke to listened to my complaints and instead of downgrading my Natwest account, she told me that I should wait for a couple of months because changing my Natwest account would harm my credit record. I’m 23 years old! What do I care about a credit record in a foreign country?

So I tried again the next week. I sat down with some other Natwest woman and went through the whole thing again. “I don’t want this account. I want that account. Why can’t you people listen to me?” She listened to me and I got the same talk/lecture about credit ratings. Luckily for me, there is another branch of Natwest about fine minutes from this useless one. I took a little walk up the road, went through everything with a nice little hottie (Josh, I think) and got my Natwest account downgraded.

Hooray! I hear you say…Not quite. He did downgrade my Natwest account, but still not to the one I wanted. I’m still paying for stuff I don’t want like mobile phone insurance and discount CDs, so a week later (after paying about 2 months of bank fees for an account I never wanted) I march down to the bank, with my “power suit” on (clean jeans and a very threatening wrestling t-shirt) and finally get through to someone. I explain everything that has gone on in the past, including the useless Natwest tellers that have done nothing to help me and finally get the girl to fill in all the paper work in front of me to prove that my account will finally get changed to the one I want. At this point I think I’m about to cry with happiness.

After another lot of Natwest bank fees leave my account, I decide that maybe I should just close my Natwest account. Baring in mind that all this is going on while I’m fighting with Lloyds TSB and working part time in one of the roughest pubs in Basingstoke. And I’m almost sure there was some PMS going on as well.

I went down to Natwest and asked about closing my account. Oh what a surprise! There are fees for closing my Natwest account! Well, up yours Natwest, I’m just gonna keep on hassling you about my account until you give in. I finally have the account I want, after about two and a half months of paying fees and arguing with useless bank tellers.

 You’d probably think that after all that, I’d be finished with my bitching about Lloyds TSB and Natwest, but wait, it gets even better…

 After striking a deal with my parents (thank you Mummy and Daddy), I decide to deposit £50 a month into an account and after six months, transfer everything back to Australia, thus paying only one transfer fee. Not a problem.

It’s New Years Day. I may be hung over, but I’m still kicking. I withdraw the £50 from my Lloyds TSB account (that at this time is still useless) and walk the 10 metres to the Natwest cashpoint and deposit the £50 cash into my account. I take the receipt and go back home, confident that my first payment will be okay.

Now two weeks ago, England had a bit of windy weather and some trees were blown onto the track. Don’t worry, this does have a point. Anyway, working in Staines and with no trains running, I call my friend who is working in Feltham. Her boyfriend is picking her up and then they are going to dinner with her parents. Would I like to come and they’ll drop me back in Basingstoke afterwards? All good. I love her parents and her boyfriend and I get along well. We’re waiting for her boyfriend to arrive when I need to get some cash for the meal. Knowing that I had some spare cash this month, I decided to use some of the £50 deposited into my Natwest account, but it’s not there!

Now, I know what you’re thinking. She’s used it without realising. Nope, not even close. I went down to Natwest that weekend and got a mini statement. According to Natwest, I haven’t used my Natwest card since the beginning of December. I go over to the help desk and talk to a Natwest lady that looks remarkably like someone I’ve dealt with before. The Natwest teller takes all my Natwest account details and even a photocopy of my Natwest receipt, clearly showing that a deposit was made on 1st January 2007 into my Natwest account. The Natwest teller tells me that Natwest will have to investigate and that some from Natwest will call me during the week and let me know what is going on. Oh what another surprise from Natwest! No one calls.

I went to visit Natwest again today and spoke to another Natwest idiot. This one took five minutes to even find a pen so I have every confidence that he will find my money. He took a photocopy of my Natwest receipt and all my details again and even pointed out the Natwest idiot who would be looking into this matter for me. He then went into the Natwest banking system to look into my actual account. Now, most of the time, I just let my Natwest account sit with a few £s in it. It’s not my everyday account so I tend to forget about it.

He nicely pointed out that I don’t seem to use this account very often and that I hadn’t made a deposit for a while. Well what does he expect? Natwest got three months worth of fees from me through a Natwest account I didn’t want and had to ask three times to get it changed. Without any monthly fees on my account, it’s cheaper for me to leave my £2.63 sitting there, not doing anything, than it is for me to close my Natwest account!

So, now I’m waiting for a phone call from a Natwest idiot to tell me that Natwest has either found my money, or complete silence for Natwest, after which I will go and visit them next weekend and then call the Banking Ombusman and complain about the useless Natwest banking system.

You may have noticed that I used the words Lloyds TSB and Natwest a lot. That’s because Google loves blogs at the moment. The more I use the particular phrase Lloyds TSB or Natwest, that higher up the search list I should go. So everytime someone types in Lloyds TSB or Natwest, hopefully they’ll find my blog (I’m sure they’ll find it faster than Natwest finds my money).

Another useful addition will be if someone high up at Lloyds TSB or Natwest find this blog. Perhaps then I’ll be able to get something done!

~ by lulupop on Saturday, January 27, 2007.